Breadcrumbs are evil–but only until you find the little suckers.

At least they are in the supermarket.  They are the Bermuda Triangle of food schtuffs:  Can you tell me, off the top of your head, where are the breadcrumbs in your supermarket?  Any idea?  Any idea?  No.  No.  Because they are like the Eucharist:  a Mystery, capital M. No one who works in a grocery store knows where they are, either.  Are they in the baking isle?  No.  I’ve found them by soda, by snacks, by just about anything.  They defy category.

Now here’s a thing… I always have breadcrumbs, from the store, on hand.  Why?  Because there are few finer things on this dear, rotten earth than Progresso Italian Bread Crumbs on pork chops.  God bless my little Louisana/Mississippi hybrid momma.  All ya need is egg, pork chop (I love Iowa Chops) and some Progresso Italian Bread Crumbs.

Lenora’s Porky Chops

Progresso Italian Bread Crumbs

Eggs, beaten cause they deserve it.

Pork chops which are delicious and not cuddly and deserve to be on your plate.

Dip pig in chicken’s potential but-not-quite-new-chickens and bake or fry up.  Don’t have the heat too high or it will brown the bread coating REAL FAST and make them ugly brown and eventually burnt.

Serve up.  Yer done.

You will be so impressed.  Everyone will love them, and you will rarely cook pork any differently, ever.

When you have acclimated yourself to the awesomeness that is Progresso Italian Bread Crumbs, try this…

Lenora’s Magnificent And I Mean Bad Ass Beooootiful Stuffed Artychokies

Buy them bad boys.  Just do it.  In the produce isle where you often advert your eyes because you don’t quite know how to deal with artichokes.  But now that you have PIBC’s, look THEM IN THE EYE DO NOT SHOW FEAR and buy two.  Or three.  Doesn’t matter.

Wander over to the Good Cheese section.  Now the Good Cheese Section will not say “Good Cheese Section” because it is cheese and it is subtle, baby.  Subtle.  Grab you a container (more than 8 oz.) of Romano, Parmesan, and Provolone.  Grated, preferably.

Getcha a BIG pot.  Like a Dutch oven.  (Why’s it called that?  I’ve never cooked any Dutch in it, ever.) Put one of those steam trays in the bottom, or anything that will elevate the artichokes about an inch or so off the bottom.  A steam basket will do.

Trim the artichokes where the bottoms are flat.  Put them aside and let them wonder what’s coming next, cause that shit’s brutal and they’ll really think the worst.

Then take the Progresso Bread Crumbs–I’d say about 1 cup or so–more or less, you’re going to have to eyeball it AND THINK FOR YOURSELF (do you see step-by-step instructions here?  NO.  Because you don’t need me to hold your hand, like it’s your first time to use the freaking Easy Bake Oven!).  Then you put in about a cup each of the Romano, Parmesan and Provolone.  And let me tell you–any cheese for the Provolone will do, as long as its a bit melty.  I wouldn’t recommend motzerella, but that’s because of how you eat it–it would get all awkward.  You’ll see why in a minute.  But substitute Italian blend or cheddar or four cheese–anything that will add moisture and melty texture.

Toss those bad boys.  Don’t apologize to anyone.  Not the Vegans, not the dairy cows, and not your fifth grade teacher who told you that animals were all like Bambi and deserved good things.  Just cheese it, baby. Put in some salt, maybe a teaspoon for the whole lot.  You won’t need much.

Then take the artichokes and starting at the bottom (much like my writing career) take a tablespoon and scoop the mixture into the leaves.  Pull them down to create a gap.  STUFF them.  STUFF.  All the way up to the top.  I find it helpful to put it in the bowl with the mixture, so it’s all kept in one place.

Then pour about two tablespoons of olive oil over each. Put in Dutch oven in 350 degree oven for about an hour, maybe a bit more–until one of the leaves will pull away easily.

They are glorious.  They are quite possibly, my favorite food in the whole world, and I treasure the once or year or so I make them.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s